Queer Folks
Gender journeys are weird, you don’t have to go it alone.
Are you gender nonconforming and/or have a queer sexual orientation, yet folks regularly code you as cis and/or straight?
Navigating identity is always complex, and can be uniquely challenging for folks who identify as queer but may get perceived by others as cisgender and/or heterosexual. It’s tough when queerness goes unrecognized by both the LGBTQu+ community and by the cis het world.
In queer circles, you may feel like you have to work to prove your queerness, or you may avoid queer community altogether, believing you're not "queer enough.” I’m here to affirm that you being you is valid and just the right amount of queer, regardless of how you look or present yourself.
When others misidentify you, you may just suck it up, letting a comment go uncorrected. There’s a cost the self pays for remaining protected but invisible. If you choose to correct them, you’re taking on emotional labor. Speaking up can be empowering, but exhausting, overwhelming, or scary.
We can work together to slow down and track your internal experience of interfacing with both communities. Increasing understanding and compassion increases possibilities for more choice going forward. For generating new options and trying out things that may scare you. We can help the queer part of you feel seen, known, and understood, so that you’re able to assert your right to not only exist, but to be celebrated!
Need more robust support as you walk along your gender path?
Turning toward an authentic self and away from cis normativity can be complex, lonely, and challenging. In a society that imposes narrowly-prescribed gender norms and expectations on all of us, wading through the sea of bullshit can take some time and emotional bravery.
I absolutely love supporting folks in exploring and expressing their gender identity. We work on:
Tolerating the confusion and discomfort that often arises during the process of self-discovery.
Tailoring a plan for coming out socially, providing problem solving and emotional support along the way.
Processing through painful relationship ruptures that may arise in the coming out process.
Celebrating elation and euphoria related to living a life with more gender authenticity.
Why I like working with other queer folks:
Short answer: because I’m queer myself. As I’ve been on my own gender journey, I’ve found supporting my clients in theirs is one of the processes I love the most as a therapist.
It takes guts. Ongoing discomfort. Tolerating gray area and unfinished business. Looking inward instead of outward.
This is not a process for the faint of heart, and yet watching as my clients experience and expand gender euphoria is truly heart-swelling. It’s worth it!
“I had so much stuff to process about my gender as an older lesbian, even though I’d thought I was long done. My oh my, do I feel more comfy in my skin now that I’m embracing my inner boy and have worked through some pain about how much I’d been discouraged from true expression as a kid.”
BK, therapy client