Guide to Finding a Good Life Coach, Steering Clear of Low Quality Coaches, and When to Move On
In a world where self-help gurus and wellness experts spring up and multiply ongoing, the task of finding the right support can be understandably daunting. As with other corners of the internet, seekers are flooded with websites boasting life-changing solutions via coaching services, but how do you discern the qualified from the unqualified, especially in a largely unregulated field like coaching? As an experienced AEDP therapist and AEDP-informed life coach, I want to empower you to make informed decisions when seeking this type of support.
I have been on the other side. I am embarrassed to say I threw thousands (yes, multiple!) of hard-earned dollars toward a coaching system (that shall remain nameless). At first I was hopeful, convinced I was in good hands to support me in developing a healthy relationship with food. I threw myself into the process, enthusiastically completing worksheets and exercises, interacting with the bespoke app and growing connections with my cohort. A few weeks into the process, I found the system to basically be word salad, mixing some solid research and psychological concepts with a whole mix of confusing nonsense. I found myself lost, and I can’t imagine I was alone! Eventually, I realized that the cost of both my time and aggravation was just too high and I distanced myself from the program. I officially completed it, but with a sense of deep disappointment in the leader and disappointment in myself that I hadn’t seen through the pretty graphics and buzz words.
Here’s to you not throwing your money away or your head against the wall; cheers!
Qualities of a Trustworthy Life Coach:
Professional Credentials: Seek coaches with recognized certifications in life coaching, such as those from reputable organizations like the International Coach Federation (ICF). These credentials indicate a commitment to professional standards and ongoing education, although that’s the bare bones minimum.
Experience and Expertise: Look for coaches with substantial, provable experience in working with individuals within their focus of coaching. Don’t be afraid to ask detailed questions about where they trained, when, and with which experts.
Research-Informed Approach: A quality coach should be well-versed in the latest research and treatment. They should base their strategies on evidence-based practices rather than unproven theories. If someone starts talking to you about pseudoscience (supplements, essential oils, chiropractic, silly quizzes), I suggest you run for the hills!
Trauma-Informed Care: A good coach should have training in trauma-informed care to provide support that is sensitive to potential past traumas, even if they’re not treated within the coaching relationship. We wouldn’t want a coach to retraumatize you! Check to see if they receive consultation from a therapist or social worker (I recommend this to all coaches who are not also licensed mental health specialists).
Customized Strategies: Effective coaching should be tailored to your unique needs and goals. A good coach will work with you to develop a personalized plan. Head’s up: they will likely say that no matter what! Closely look for signs that you’re really being listened to sensitively. Notice how you feel with them.
Life Coach Warning Signs:
Lack of Credentials: Be wary of coaches who cannot provide evidence of their qualifications or certifications. A qualified coach should be transparent about their background and training and proud of collaborations with other healthcare providers.
Over-promising Results: Avoid coaches who promise miraculous outcomes or quick fixes. Change is a process that requires time and effort, and there are no overnight solutions.
One-Size-Fits-All Approach: If a coach insists on using the same strategies for everyone without considering your individual needs and challenges, it may be a sign of ineffectiveness.
High Costs with Little Value: Some coaches may charge wildly high fees without delivering meaningful results. Be cautious if the financial burden outweighs the benefits. Coaches should never cost more money than the average market rates for therapists. A therapist who has specialized knowledge in your area of challenge will be a much better fit, if that’s the case.
Lack of Feedback and Accountability: A good coach should provide regular feedback and hold you accountable for your goals. If your coaching relationship lacks structure and progress tracking, it may be time to reconsider.
Indicators It's Time to Reevaluate Your Coaching Relationship:
Stagnation: If you have been working with a life coach for an extended period without seeing significant progress or improvement, it may be time to explore other options.
Unhealthy Dynamics: Trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable, disrespected, or unheard during coaching sessions, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and seek a healthier coaching relationship.
Inconsistency: Coaches should maintain a consistent schedule and level of engagement. If your coach frequently cancels sessions or is unresponsive, it may be a sign of unprofessionalism.
Lack of Alignment with Goals: If your coach's approach no longer aligns with your evolving goals or needs, it may be beneficial to find a coach who can better address your current challenges.
Navigating the marketplace for life coaching can be challenging. Coaching programs spend much of their time supporting coaches-to-be on marketing–which is gorgeous and appreciated!--however, avoid confusing slick websites with established and capable expertise. You deserve to have some relief and to feel like you have a true partner walking alongside you for this part of your journey. I trust you can find that if you’re equipped with education, awareness, and self-trust.
