How a therapist error nudged me toward ADHD coaching
I was in the thick of weekly therapy with a client. Using my understanding and skills, I supported them in processing their developmental trauma: feeling less alone with big emotions, building compassion for themself, lessening amount of time spent in shame, and sorting out fact from fiction with their sensitivity to rejection from peers. We were moving along—slowly—when their physical therapist pointed out that my client exhibited many symptoms of ADHD.
As I’m sure you can guess, my client does in fact have ADHD. And now takes medication. The meds allow them to focus more, have less overwhelm, and more capacity to take their life’s tricky moments in stride. Perhaps just as importantly, with the additional understanding of their brain, they can work with themself as-is rather than lamenting and immediately labeling their habits as lazy or selfish or too sensitive.
I had been missing this piece, because I was looking through the lens of trauma and unable to recognize key info about a very common and complex neurological condition called ADHD.
With this new information, I predictably started launched into learning—articles, books, conversations in real life, and observing ADHD-er clients from this new lens with my nascent knowledge.
Fast forward to now. I’m in the middle of coaching training and reading lots independently of the program. Little by little, I gain discernment. I see ways that clients’ ADHD symptoms are related to what I would previously have categorized as a person’s trauma and nervous system protections. Difficulties that would’ve previously been coded as largely environmentally-fostered now get re-categorized as traits generated genetically.
As a therapist and coach, I’m able to support ADHD-ers as they take a look at how their brain works, see what’s not working so well, where there’s wiggle room for change, and what needs to be accepted and treated with compassion. Sometimes, ADHD is front and center in our work and sometimes it’s not. In any case, I am able to remember and keep this part of their experience in mind.
Therapy or coaching, ADHD or not, I'm all about being right there in the thick of my clients' journeys. I consider it my responsibility to encourage the construction of new neural pathways and to interrupt run-of-the-mill thought patterns and habit loops. If we aim to grow and change, we’ve gotta shake things up! With my ADHD clients in particular, we step away from shame and denial and move toward harnessing the gifts and beauty of their unique selves. Together.
